So I’ve been in a rut. A very well rounded rut. Life wise it seems it’s been a 2+ year rut and dance wise it’s been a life rut (ok only middle school/high school and on rut since I wasn’t really aware of dance before that) but I’m working on both. I couldn’t really understand my impulse to check facebook at least 2 to 3 times a day when there was a time I was NEVER on. Turns out I’m checking facebook in search of rut mates. Of rut mates who are in the process of climbing out or are happily out. Of inspiration. Of affirmation that ruts are not forever. Of further evidence that “we are young so let’s set the world on fire” sort of impetuses.
I am working on finding my way out. Today was my first day of my Stretch till you Split challenge. I’m not sure how long it will take. I really hope it’s not YEARS but it’s time I dedicated myself to a dream I’ve had for as long as I can remember. And I mean that literally. I dreamt about having my splits just last week. If I can haul my butt to work everyday, I can stretch everyday. Finito. Capisce? Also, having your splits seems like such an attainable goal. I’m not asking to win the lottery, to have the ability to fly, or to even miraculously become a corps member of a professional ballet company at my ripe old age (principal would just be too much of a stretch even here). Just splits. I’m not going to stress myself out and take pictures everyday and constantly calculate my progress. I plan on doing checkins maybe twice a month? We’ll play it by ear.
I had my first private ballet lesson today. It was a little weird being stared at while plie-ing and doing whatever-ing. I also didn’t really listen to the music so I’m sure not only did I look a little awkward, I also was totally off count. She was cool though. I really like her and I think we’re going to work well together. She pinpointed some weight issues I have. I’m very comfortable sitting on my heels. Very comfortable. I also have sucky port de bras (my words not hers). But I think the issue with port de bras is that you have to bring it and today I left it at home, haha no really, I’ve said this before – a good chunk of dance is conviction and confidence. Even if you’re doing it wrong, at least you’ll look good doing it if you dance with confidence. And not cockiness. You might look good while being cocky but it taints the dancing. Jill Johnson told her dancers before performing to “Dance without ego.” I totally agree.